Today

Today was a day where I needed a break.  A good day, nothing specifically went wrong. No meltdowns, freak outs, but just an honest day in the life of a stay at home mom. I say that, because it has almost been a year since I last worked, so this is the life I have known. The life that eats, sleeps, and breaths baby. 

There is no day off. No 5 minute break. Just, the same routine and every moment needed by someone. Something has to get cooked. Something needs to be cleaned. Everyone needs to be fed. Even though, at 1:00, I realized, holy shit I haven't eaten anything today. 

I nursed Delilah about 8 times. A few of those times I was ok and the break was nice. A few other times, I felt my skin crawling and I gritted my teeth waiting for her to be finished. I just need an hour of peace and quiet. An hour of doing whatever in the world I want to do. So, here I am at midnight, a time I haven't seen in so long, doing what I so longed to do today... whatever in the hell I wanted.

I love being a mom. I love being a wife. I love being able to stay at home with Delilah, seeing her bumble around and being there when she wakes up. But, I need time for me and I need time to recharge my battery.

We went to a friends house, Delilah got bumped with a shovel. It was so hot, that the best of AC's wouldn't have helped. Trying to run in to a couple stores was such work. She is so good at being my shopping buddy, but it usually starts wearing off at the second stop. Today, we made four. 

The sink was full of dishes. Counters full of food that was not eaten, despite all of my efforts. And a dinner that needed to be cooked. The dishwasher needed to be unloaded. The random toys, that Delilah has found were everywhere and I was in a minefield. Dodging each obstacle. I stepped on a piece of slippery cottage cheese and somehow caught my balance. Went to pivot to get a pot holder, only to find Delilah's hands right at my feet.

We are slowly getting rid of the second nap. The second nap that I never even knew I loved. She only slept for an hour today, so I tried to get her to sleep, 3 times failed. As soon as you have a handle on them, they change and it is time to regroup. We are at that time and I am trying to regroup.

Tomorrow is a new day. I have a beautiful sleeping baby in the next room. A wonderfully patient husband down the hall. We are all good here. I just needed a moment to breath. 

I just had to catch my breath.

One shoe on, one shoe off. Pink bib that has stayed on all week. Pulling out everything from her closet to hand to me. Droopy onsie. Cutest thing I have ever seen.